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Loanwords

by Charlie Crane

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1.
A deep sea dive into the past Coming unstuck in time I twist and shift and lick my lips Déjà vu on my mind A quarter-century in this world and all I've learned is this There's a plot in every motion and conversation in each kiss But I can't tell you what I'm searching for - I haven't found it yet And maybe there's a place they know the score - where there's a word for it And I won't be lost in my language anymore Coming up for air again Fast enough to get the bends On a Missouri mid-afternoon In the arms of my best friend I struggle to make sense of it My lips move without control I'm feeling smothered by the mother tongue And I don't want to round to the nearest whole And I can't be the first to think this way - there ought to be a word for it But I'm stuck somewhere where no words can say that all their meanings fit And I'm feeling lost in my language everyday I'm feeling lost in my language everyday
2.
Zugzwang 02:45
This is no time for celebration It's a hellacious time for all involved So enough of the misplaced elation Show a couple of stains in your steel resolve Make no mistake, this is a rough patch And now we're facing the 22nd catch Like looking for needles in two equal bales of hay I will have to accept that it's not going to go my way This is a no-win situation But if it isn't too contradictory Be satisfied in your frustration Be content with a Pyrrhic victory Make no mistake, it's quite a heavy load And now we're dealing with Morton's fork in the road And the clock is still ticking, there is no conclusion to find So I have to make peace with the choice to which I'm confined
3.
Uradel 02:42
The pocketbook prince is making sure his debts are paid A fiver for the driver and a fiver for the maid He's covering his tracks because the party is tonight If everybody's paid off everybody is polite But what would the king think to see his very own boy Hobnobbing with a member of the hoi polloi? You are cordially invited to an evening of black ties and white lies You are cordially invited to an evening of black ties and white lies And bright eyes with dark sides King Cophetua's ghost is looming high Cuz when the prince wants to impress he doesn't have to try The pretty peasant princess smiles at everyone she sees But little does she know she's got some spinach in her teeth Daddy taught her all the benefits of dating in to wealth And now she's got the finest noblepeople toasting to her health But when she opens her mouth, trying to entertain The king's monocle falls right into his champagne You are cordially invited to an evening of black ties and white lies You are cordially invited to an evening of black ties and white lies And bright eyes with dark sides King Cophetua's ghost is looming high Cuz when the prince wants to impress he doesn't have to try
4.
We've always been friends but it's hard to pin down Where attraction begins and the friendship ends And at parties the line tends to get further blurred Cuz the guys stay away, they assume you're my girl It's all quite platonic, but it couldn't hurt To see what you would say to a casual flirt So I make dirty comments as you make dirty drinks And you laugh it all off with a blush and a wink But as time goes by, your inhibitions drop And you say the things you've only ever thought Ambrosia ambrosia, it makes me concerned Your consent can't be trusted, affections returned Ambrosia ambrosia, your only defense Cuz it's got the knack to make you lose common sense Oh no... So we lie on the sofa, and all I can do is Make sure you don't let me take advantage of you Oh, it would be easy, I see all the signs I can tell by your leg as it's wrapped around mine That you wouldn't reject me if I made a move But first thing in the morning i know it would prove To cause guilt and regret and be awkward and tense But I look at your body and I can't stand the suspense So I try to think of every lonely night But I shake my head cuz I know it's not right Ambrosia ambrosia, I think I'm obliged To be responsible, for your trust is implied Ambrosia ambrosia, I think you will find What is good for the body's not good for the mind Oh no...
5.
Katzenjammer 01:54
10 am sharp and there's something ringing in my ears Searching for my phone among the half-empty bottles of beer And piecing through the memories I have retained It appears as though my condition can be explained By the round that I bought to make me seem friendly This is not how I pictured spending my 20s I gather my things and I write a note to be polite 'Thanks for putting me up and putting up with me for the night' But my predominant thought is 'never again' Repeated like a mantra with a quick amen And I know I'm the only one to blame Cuz if we stayed awake, morning never would have came And I could take a taxi past the building with the steeple But the fare is steep, and I'm so cheap, I'll face the good people And Saturday's clothes look even worse in the rain When you're hanging your head on a Sunday morning walk of shame...
6.
Heimat 03:09
This is the place I live Been here all my life Never had to pack it up It collects and multiplies The city's where I want to be I take the train half the week But I don't want to leave until I'm sure I can stand on my own feet But how can I change When my points of reference always stay the same? It's nice to see the stars When out walking late at night But sometimes everything goes black As I approach each street light My folks are good to keep me 'round Although I have to pay the rent And neither of us wants to stay In this place permanent But how can I change When my points of reference always stay the same?
7.
Luftschloss 02:40
We stapled three sheets to the window So we couldn't see the light or hear the wind blow We disconnected phones and told our friends to leave us alone We closed our eyes just as the dawn broke And as the sun rose we yawned and woke Coffee and cream and attempting to remember our dreams And it's true we might be living high in a castle in the sky Forsaking all responsibility But that don't bother you or I, because we're feeling so alive We can't imagine there's anything else that we need I'm afraid our parents resent us We're unlicensed and licentious And I stay on the couch downstairs when your folks are home We stay up all night swapping drunk texts They leave for work and we have hangover sex Is it any wonder they hardly ever leave us alone? And it's true we might be living high in a castle in the sky Forsaking all responsibility But that don't bother you or I, because we're feeling so alive We can't imagine there's anything else that we need
8.
Treppenwitz 02:53
Silent at a stoplight on the passenger side Mentally rephrasing ways to say 'thanks for the ride' We both know you'd rather push me under the wheel I've already breached the terms of my last appeal Now I know what should've said then But I won't get that chance again Please don't think I'm trying to be flip It's not a riposte or a comeback or quip I choose my words carefully to be clear Nothing's funny 'bout what's happening here And I know what should've said then But I won't get that chance again
9.
Angst 03:04
Lookin' out the window, Seein' winter wind blow, On a train to your place for the day Meet you at the station, It's instantly frustratin': I can't think of anything to say It's been such a while since We have sat in silence I forgot how much it frightens me With a dread so nameless Ominous and aimless It's a mental game of hide and seek Small talk leads to bigger stress Every word a major inquisition All I do is second guess All you want's a little intuition As each frozen second passes The expectation becomes paralyzing Every moment's angst amasses I'm apologizing for apologizing When we get to talking Worry still is stalking It's a self-fulfilling prophecy It'll never end well Walking upon eggshells Saying everything so carefully Readin' my expression Only leaves you guessin' Cuz I don't want to let on something's wrong So I build a bubble Never mention trouble Till I sing about it in a song Small talk leads to bigger stress Every word a major inquisition All I do is second guess All you want's a little intuition Looking glum and feeling nauseous Nervous over small decision-making Overwhelmed and overcautious The span of choice is so intimidating As each frozen second passes The expectation becomes paralyzing Every moment's angst amasses I'm apologizing for apologizing And I can't believe what I've committed to muscle memory And where I'm at's a far ways off from where I thought I'd be But please be patient my dear I don't wanna stay forever here And I know that I can persevere Over existential fear
10.
Vergeblich 02:48
She says we need to talk - it's either good news or really bad But if I had to put my money on it I would not bet good So we sit on the sidewalk She softly stutters as she strokes my hand I ask if she wants coffee and she answers I don't think I should So we walk to somewhere private and quiet I know exactly where we're headed 'You're a great guy and I'm glad we tried it' But with a tear in her eye, she said 'it's just like. Trying to light a brick on fire Trying to walk on a broken leg Trying to drive on a flat tire Fitting round holes to a triangle peg It's a waste of time to care anymore And when we're together it feels like a chore And I should relinquish the keys to your door' Tho things were sweet at the start, what good's remembering the past When the confidence that I've been cultivating's been evaporated? By another broken heart, even more painful than the last But still I reminisce from time to time about the girls I've dated And I've noticed some recurring patterns From every time I've been left behind But even though I feel completely shattered I know I shouldn't try to change your mind It'd be like Trying to light a brick on fire Trying to walk on a broken leg Trying to drive on a flat tire Fitting round holes to a triangle peg You can't make somebody love you anymore Best to put the pictures of you in a drawer And to just surrender my key to your door
11.
Filmriss 02:46
One more time, Polaroid come off the shelf Jogging my thoughts and reminding myself I'll never forget you But I can't quite summon your face I keep it locked safely away in this room In a box scented lightly with ancient perfume There's only one copy Some things just can't be replaced But each time I hold it, the colours will fade The detail gets hazy, the edges get frayed Through the fingerprint fog I can make out your smile But I fear even that will be gone in a while So I catalog it in my memory banks But the next lonely night when the picture is blank I'll only recall Tonight's secondhand glimpse of your face I'm left with memories of memories The more I squint to focus, the less I can see The longer you live, The more older thoughts will be erased
12.
The moon was so low It looked like it was falling to the earth And you sit with me below Looks as if it could crash upon the ground So I'll hold you tight, all tonight Looks as if it could crash upon the ground But what a sight, what a sight Hold an umbrella for you As jagged fragments of moon fall from the sky Find a window with a view Looks as if it could crash upon the ground So I'll hold you tight, all tonight Looks as if it could crash upon the ground But what a sight, what a sight As the morning comes to pass We awake to lunar shards on the balcony So I sweep it up like glass Looks as if it could crash upon the ground So I'll hold you tight, all tonight Looks as if it could crash upon the ground But what a sight, what a sight
13.
There's a guy that looks just like me And he's ruining my credibility He's been spotted everywhere in town Tryin' to drag my reputation down My friends saw him with a mouthful of gin Pickin' fights he knew he couldn't win He's a menace and a cheat and a fake Someone stop him before it's too late! There's no explanation I can see He's a mystery, and he's got it in for me I'd never tell my baby lies But my doppelgänger would, no surprise I'd never make my baby cry But my doppelgänger's guilty of both these crimes Now my baby's gettin' me frustrated Our relationship is complicated She said I'm out too late each night And that's when it turned into a fight Cuz I haven't left the house in days I've been sat here gettin' hammered and blazed But then she turns on her phone And I proceed to have my mind blown By pictures of some guy who looks like me Scandalous in theme, making mortal enemies (oh no, this can't be good) I'd never tell my baby lies But my doppelgänger would, no surprise I'd never make my baby cry But my doppelgänger's guilty of both these crimes I'm innocent of all these lies I'm not the doppelgänger, I have alibis Look at me straight in the eyes He's a serious flight risk with no significant community ties! All these good intentions that you see They're the real me, not this phantom mystery
14.
When you point and shoot with your digital pistol You can steal a soul and turn it into pixels And give someone a name that they can never live down Oh lord it's happening all over town You know it's never been so easy to be a bully Anyone can start anonymous animosity Because there's only one dimension to an LCD screen And it's not easy to forget what you've seen Well I'm a fan of slapstick when it's Larry or Moe And sometimes I laugh louder when it's someone I know But if I saw an old lady fall down three flights of stairs I'd try to help instead of just point and stare And so I'd like to end my song with this little plea To keep a sense of humor but retain empathy And keep those cameras safely rolling, honey don't lock the door Cause these days my key don't fit anymore
15.
Wiedersehen 02:53
'Tho we're far apart I hold you in my heart You're still a part of me If just a memory And I don't love you less Although we're only friends So I wish you all the best Until we meet again I wonder if you feel it sometimes too? From this point I know We'll go down separate roads And if they intersect I hope we'll reconnect And if you need a hand I'll have two to lend But I won't be the same man When we meet again I know you'll be a different person too

about

Loanwords is an album of songs inspired by and named after German vocabulary words for which there is no direct English translation. (All the songs are in English though - I never did pass high school German.) It's also a loose concept album about the post-collegiate, pre-professional trials and tribulations of folks in their early 20s, although that wasn't necessarily intentional.

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released December 12, 2012

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Charlie Crane Chicago, Illinois

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